For some reason, the shift from summer to fall has thrown me into a bit of a "Fall funk." My motivation has been zapped; my energy is low, my anxiety level is high, sleep is difficult to come by, and my attitude needs an adjustment. The frustrating part of this current mindset is two-fold. First of all, there does not seem to be any logical reason for this particular "Fall funk." Secondly, there is no way to determine when this "Fall funk" will lift and disappear from my day to day as mysteriously as it appeared.
Without a doubt, I live an amazingly charmed life. I'm fortunate to be able to provide for my children in a dual income situation. I have an excellent partner who is supportive, kind, hardworking and who participates in more than his fair share of the parenting and household duties. I'm healthy and have three beautiful girls who are also healthy.
And for heaven's sake, it is fall, the holiday season is approaching, and there is so much to look forward to. What is wrong with me? Why is my body betraying the logical part of my brain? Am I entering peri-menopause? Am I experiencing an energy crash after an extraordinarily busy and overscheduled summer? Am I depressed?
I've spent a lot of early mornings sleepless hours soul searching these last few weeks to try to find the solution to my "Fall funk" and much to my dismay I have not find it. So I just have to be patient a while longer. While I wait for my emotions to come into sync with my logical brain, I choose to focus on all of the sunshine that shines in my life on a daily basis.
Eden is the biggest unexpected gift I have ever been blessed with. Despite the fact that any strong-willed three-year-old child can at times make you want to pull your hair out, Eden is so precious. Her mind is so sharp, her heart is so pure and kind, and when I look at her, I see love and light.
So as I wait for the "Fall funk" to lift, which I know it will, I focus on the blessings at the center of which is this amazing little girl who together with her sisters make my darkest days bright.